We have the BEST friends ever…No Seriously

My Friends Are Better Than Yours

I don’t mean that statement to come off like it sounds. I just truly can’t imagine having better friends!

From the moment we told the world about our unsuccessful IVF attempt, people all around us have been amazing. In our eyes, it was the loss of a child, not just an embryo, and much grieving came after that, and there are still days we grieve.

The ones who have truly cared for us more are often those who have suffered a miscarriage or a failed IVF, because they understand. But others have been amazing, nonetheless. I’ve had offers from people to be a surrogate for our baby. Yes, a SURROGATE for our baby. That is not an easy offer- how selfless? How amazing?! I’ve had offers for IVF medication, people offering advice on adoption, on fundraising ideas, and most of all a shoulder to cry on and listen.

Our friends are truly our “burden bearers.”

This is THE plan

I want to make something clear. However God chooses to give us a child, whether biologically or our child through adoption, or a child through egg donation- we understand that this was always THE plan. This isn’t a “back-up” plan or “2nd best”. This is the best plan for our lives and our baby(s) life. If that did not come across in my first post, I want to make it abundantly clear. I am well aware that our vulnerability and our believing for a successful IVF can make people think this is “second best” and if this is where  God continues to lead us, it was the best plan all along. More posts to come on that, but I just had to make that OVERWHELMINGLY clear.

Our Mom’s Love

Some of the best reactions and love about both our failed IVF and now pursuing adoption have come from sensitive friends and family members. It is so wonderful when people are just upfront about our struggles and acknowledge them, which in and of itself means the world. I just wanted to take a second and brag on our moms. When we found out we weren’t pregnant,  I was dreading telling my mom. Not because of her reaction- but just because I so imagined having that moment with her of telling her I was indeed pregnant.

And I was so relieved when Josh was going to tell his parents. I just hate giving bad news, especially when we were all hoping and believing for the best.

Well, it was about a month after we learned I wasn’t pregnant and we both said we were ready to tell others. I went to lunch with my mom and was dreading it the whole time, talking myself out of it that maybe this time wasn’t the right time. So, I finally just blurted it out. “I’m not pregnant!” She of course cried and then I was so surprised at her next reaction- which is so much more affirming now that we are seeking adoption.

She was so quick to say, through tears, that she will love our baby, however we have him/her just as the baby would have been of my own flesh and blood. That is when I was really holding back tears.

For us, having a niece and nephew that are the light of our parents’ worlds- it is a thought that goes through your mind- will they or can they love another child as much as they love these little ones that fill our life with so much joy?

Needless to say, my mom’s reaction was affirming.

And then Josh told his parents- YES! I didn’t have to do that one!- whew! His faithful mom wanted to talk to me that night, but we had plans. So, she came to my office the next day and just cried with me. She processed with me and was honest with me about life not being fair and just honest with her frustration. She is so good about affirming me and just being sad with me- not trying to make things better, but just walling around a bit in the pit. Until we strap up our boots and move on to the next victory.

Now, as we get closer to a baby of our own- however that happens, I know, now, more than ever that this child will be so loved by our amazing friends and family.

One More Mental Picture

And if you needed another picture of just how awesome some of these people are, enjoy these pictures of many of our friends and family at Josh’s 30th birthday party. They all dressed up as someone or something that started with the letter “J”. Sorry if we didn’t get a picture of you!

They are awesome AND fun!

Jif Peanut Butter & Jelly, Throwback Joker & Modern Joker, Jason Hinton (Crossfit style) & Jackson 5 hottie, Jesus and another Jackson 5 hottie

Jack in the Box, Jase Robertson and Jack-O-Lantern, Jackson 5 hottie and Joe Dirt, THE Jackson 5

Jackson 5 hottie & Jase Robertson, Cool Running Jamaican Bobsled team, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and the awesome Jump-roper and Juggler

Jamaican, Jihadist, and Jew, Jalapeño and Jellyfish, Juniper berry, Jessie and Jack Sparrow

Jonathan’s Janitor and a Jockey, Jed Lewis and Jed Lewis, Wearing their “jammies” and “jeans”, and Jack and Jill

Justice League, Jackson 5 hottie, beautiful “J” ballerina, and John Travolta, the “Joshes”, Judge Judy and Josh

Julie Andrews from Sound of Music and the Joker, The Joggers, Sweet Liam (Johnston) and the Parrishes look so good, they don’t have to dress up!