What We’ve Been Up To
As most of you know, for the last year, we have been trying to start our family. After many failed months and fertility tests, I was put on several medications. After those months of no pregnancy, I was referred to a fertility specialist (they are now referred to as Reproductive Endocrinologists (RE)).
Once we were referred there, I underwent a very extensive fertility test that did not render good results. It basically showed, in a nutshell that my chances of conceiving were low. My doctor said the results were typical of what he expected to see after someone went through chemotherapy.
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Just one of the first of many visits to our fertility clinic! |
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This place has become a second home to us over the last 5 months! |
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He has once again been my chauffeur and learned things
about the reproductive system he never wanted to know:) |
His next recommendation was In-Vitro Fertilization, as our best chance of pregnancy, and he suggested it quickly, as my egg quality and supply is expected to decrease as I get older. So, we prayed, sought guidance and agreed to start the IVF process. We started this in July.
Miracle IVF
Our IVF cycle started out very rocky. Once I started taking my medications, we were excited and expectant. But at my first monitoring appointment, my doctor was very discouraged. Throughout the process, the RE monitors the patient to see how many eggs are developing. Well, at my first appointment, it looked like little, if any, eggs were growing and my blood work indicated I wasn’t responding to the medication.
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We made several, several trips to Jackson for my monitoring
via ultrasound |
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We gave me over 70 injections over a 4 week period. This was a picture of my stomach before it got bad. OUCH! |
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Surprise, surprise… trouble with my veins and blood work. I think every nurse there has tried to get my blood after failed attempts:) They can’t realize how used to this I am! |
From the visit, we understood that my doctor may want to cancel the IVF all together. We all decided to continue on and check back in a few days. We prayed like crazy, together with close friends and family, and wow- our famous God did it again. Everything was TONS better. My bloodwork was great and there were eggs developing! Still not very many at all, but they were there!
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This is an ultrasound of a couple of my eggs. Truly a miracle! |
We were encouraged. We ended up retrieving 2 eggs from my body and 2 developing into embryos. I could write page after page of the miracles that were in each step, but retrieving eggs from me and then forming embryos–all a true miracle! We lost one embryo, but we had one to transfer back into my body! We kept praying and believing–knowing it would only take one! So, we had this embryo (our miracle baby) transferred at the beginning of August.
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This was after the transfer and we were just waiting for that little baby to snuggle in! |
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We had to wait laying down about 15 minutes after the transfer |
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Waiting, waiting! |
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Our beautiful baby! |
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This was the dish that our embryo was in! |
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Right where the “mouse pointer” is there is a white dot, that is our embryo! Such an amazing process… |
We were hopeful, believing and praying this was it. We would become pregnant with the baby we have prayed and prayed for! We waited for about 2 weeks (you other momma’s trying to conceive know this dreaded two week wait!), and then had our blood test.
We went in that morning and knew we would know around lunch time. We had the video camera set up in our living room to make sure we got our reactions on video. Well, the call came and I was expecting our nurse. It was my doctor’s voice on the other end, which I knew wasn’t a good sign.
He explained that we weren’t pregnant and expressed how very sorry he was. Of course, we were devastated. Heartbroken. Confused. Angry. Heartbroken though is really the main emotion. We knew there was obviously a big chance of us not getting pregnant, but we tried our best to believe and have those close to us pray and believe alongside of us.
Heartbroken
Yes, we are heartbroken, but God is healing our hearts. We found out this news almost 4 weeks ago. We have been processing it all and praying about it before we shared it with the world. God has been so good to us. His presence has been sweet and he has reminded us that he has GOOD plans for us! He amazes us once again that he alone holds our future.
We are remaining positive and trusting his plan for us. Yes, we are heartbroken, but we know now, more than ever that God is going to use this, yes even the loss of a baby, for his glory and honor.
I always choose hope
Psalm 23 is a scripture that I drew so much from during my cancer battle. I think it is so cool that God’s word is the LIVING word. I can read the same scripture once again and it speak to me in an entirely different way- his word is LIVING and ACTIVE!
“The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need; He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.”
Along this journey of devastation over the last few weeks, God has provided green pastures where my aching soul could find comfort knowing that my heavenly Father approved this journey for me before I took the first step toward this IVF process. I can choose bitterness and destruction, or I can choose hope and growth. I choose hope. I always choose hope. And hope brings peace, indescribable peace. Thank you Father!
What’s next?
We are not sure what is next for us. We know we will be parents, but are trying to keep believing for children, regardless of what doctors say! With that said, we are looking into IVF again for me, egg donor IVF, adoption, and of course still trying on our own.
We don’t want to miss anything God has for us. We want his perfect will for our lives and need wisdom and guidance on how to follow that.
If we do not get pregnant on our own, all of the above options take money! So, we will need prayer in that avenue as well. We will be writing a post in the next few weeks about some ideas we have to raise money for our baby!
We just wanted to update so many of you who continue to follow our story. We knew this journey would be difficult, which is why we waited to share until now. Please feel free to ask me about it or talk to me about it…I once again will overcome THIS obstacle by the word of my testimony.
I know there are so many other mommas out there that struggle with infertility. Just another area where so many are hurting. I am thankful God’s word talks so much about infertility. I am reading a book on Hannah and plan on sharing some thoughts from my own personal study soon.
Thank you for loving us and lifting us up during this difficult time. Enjoy some videos of our IVF process below:)
This was when I told Josh that my two eggs retrieved fertilized. I wanted to tell him in person, so I had to “lie” to him to tell him I didn’t know yet so I could catch the moment! We were at the beach, so I wrote on two seashells the news:)
Then we told my mom shortly thereafter!:)
This is when Josh found us in the fitness center after he learned that our fertilized eggs turned into embryos- such a miracle!
Trusting in the most trustworthy fertility treatment there is- JESUS,
Aly
15 Comments
Aly and Josh, I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your baby and all the difficulty with conceiving on your own. I have been praying for you and reminding God in my prayers for you of women in the Bible who were infertile and then had children. I’m asking Him to make you like those women. I’m also asking for a healthy mom and a healthy baby! God bless you! Love you, Sharon Evans
Thank you Ms. Sharon! Yes, I have been studying the women of the bible who were infertile as well. The amazing thing is that each one conceived, having trusted God! We are believing and praying for God’s perfect will. Thank you for loving us, caring, and praying. Mr. Bennie paid for my lunch at Daily Press last week…you guys are simply the best! Love yall…
Praying for both of you. I pray for peace that passes all. Understanding. Infertility is an emotional road and this blog is an inspiration to me on my own journey. God has big plans for you!
Yes, of course no one ever imagines they will struggle with infertility. I just knew the second we began trying, it would happen. Thank you for praying. God has given us incredible amounts of peace. He has big plans for you too- just prayed for you! Thank you for encouraging me!
Aly & Josh,
Each time I read your posts, I am overcome with emotions. Joy and excitemitement for the IVF tx and embryos and heartbreak with you with your loss. I also feel full of hope and faith! God is so wonderful and has used YOUR journey to touch so many people. You are going to be amazing parents no doubt, in God’s timing. Continue to be patient and full of prayer. You both are in my thought and prayers daily. Thank you for being such an inspiration to me through your journeys, showing the world what a loving marriage truly is, and always being an undestroyable powerhouse follower in God. So deep breath, hang in there. Your story is still being written. God is still working on your perfect lil angel!
Wow, your words ring so true! Yes, our story is still being written. We believe it will be on of the best love stories ever told…our family coming together through heartache, devastation, healing and purpose! We know God doesn’t waste a hurt and we are excited to see His story unfold. Thank you for following our journey and believing with us that His plans are GOOD!
SARAH !!!!!!
I love you! You made me cry again:)
Aly & Josh,
Your courage and faith are an inspiration. We are going to have so many “why” questions when we gather in heaven. Our prayers for you will continue and in God’s perfect will there will be an answer! We pray that answer brings the blessing of a baby!
Aly and Josh,
I just cried the whole time I read your blog and while I watched the videos. I’m so sorry that you are on this journey. While I was watching, it brought back all of those emotions. Ryle and I understand the emotional and physical affects that infertility takes out on you and sometimes even your marriage. It’s an emotional rollercoaster – high one day then low the next. I remember when we gor our call that our first IVF didnt work… there are no words to express the heartbreak. I’m so sorry.
I thought that we would never get to experience being parents. But God is so great, and as you know we are now expecting. Please keep the faith and keep the hope! We are always here if you need to talk to someone that has been through it. You’re in our thoughts and prayers daily!
Josh & Aly, hope grows strong in the heart that believes. God is not done yet! I am praying for you both and your children.
Hey Aly and Josh. Your blog always encourages me. What speaks loudest to me are your smiles and positive attitudes! I don’t know how all of this will play out for you but I know it will be good. The pieces will all fit and it will be a beautiful picture!
Here is a story of what God had in mind for a couple I know. They too were unable to conceive. They adopted 2 babies, both boys. Those boys grew up knowing the love of God and have the foundation of their parents solid, stable relationship. When their oldest son was 15 or 16, the mom underwent an ultrasound for what she thought was gall bladder trouble, and found she was 4 mo pregnant with a baby girl! I loved how God orchestrated those events to His purposes. No matter what your story turns out to be, it is going to be SPECIAL and DYNAMIC !! And it will bring HOPE to others!
You -your family – are so BRAVE. Brave souls in a”brave new world.” So many love you — especially GOD!
Wayne
I am privileged to walk alongside of you both in your sweet, yet many days, bitter journey. This baby will come. I know you hold to this truth …
“For there is still a vision for the appointed time; it speaks of the end, and does not lie.
if it seems to tarry, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.” (Hab. 2:3)
Aly and Josh, I am praying for you. I know the heartbreak of loss, although we didn’t try IVF. I struggled with infertility and had a miscarriage before finally having our little girl at age 38. I had another miscarriage and breast cancer diagnosis, so we don’t know if there are any more children in our future. I will still praise Him!