Being Here IS So Important…

Since Sunday and our false alarm, we’ve been working from our computers and trying to rest, but to be honest, there is a part of us that feels like we should go back home. Yes, we can do most of our work from our computers. Yes, I was able to take my maternity leave before the baby was born (and will just go back sooner), but there is a part of us that can feel silly being down here and just waiting.

As you all know, our house is being finished and there is so much we could be doing on the house. Picking out final things, helping move things in, taking stress off of our friends and parents, tying up loose ends for Josh and the big event he and others put on last Saturday…so we are just battling trying to “be” here while not feeling silly leaving all of those untied ends back home.

But then, we are reminded that we are exactly where we should be, even when we may feel like time is ticking away when we could be doing so much back home.

Yesterday was one of those days of affirmation that it is SO important for us to be here. We would have thought our daughter would have been born by now. And if we knew it would have been this long, we probably wouldn’t have come this soon. But of course God had a plan all along for us to be here before she made her appearance.

The birth mom is amazing, but she struggles. She struggles in general- in almost every single way and she struggles emotionally with her decision. Knowing it is the right one, but she can waver with her mother’s heart. She thrives when we are with her.

Even when we are not actually spending time with her, but when she knows we are close by- it helps immensely. So, we are trying to stay focused on that. Knowing that we are making this journey easier for her and giving her a peace that she would not feel if we were 12 hours away–that makes this time away from home worth it.

Our meeting with the mental health counselor, birth mom, and birth grandma that was supposed to happen Monday and Tuesday keeps getting rescheduled. As of now, it is supposed to be on Friday. Please pray that this happens. Worst case, these meetings would take place at the hospital (which would be okay, but not ideal), but it would be wonderful to be able to have all of those official conversations before our birth mom actually went into labor.

As I said, yesterday was one of those days that would have looked a lot differently if we weren’t here. Our birth mom does not have a car. Her family and friends work, so her main way of getting around during the day is a taxi because she doesn’t live close to a bus station, and she lives in an area that taxis don’t drive all the way to, therefore she has to walk a long way to get to a taxi, which is not the most comfortable thing to do for someone who is 9 months pregnant.

So, let’s just say that it is easy to miss doctor’s appointments and other important appointments when she is relying on others to get her places.

So, yesterday she had an ultrasound. It was her first real ultrasound (medically) to have where they checked all of the baby’s organs and made sure she looked healthy overall. In theory, this should have been done at 23 weeks or so. And birth mom is 38 weeks. So, the necessity of this ultrasound was crucial.

Had we not been in town, she wouldn’t have made this ultrasound. We went to her house, picked her up and were able to take her to her ultrasound. Before her ultrasound, we took her to get a manicure and pedicure. We overheard her saying she wanted her nails and toes to look pretty before her delivery, and she had a friend that was going to paint them. So, we offered before her ultrasound to take her.

She literally felt like a queen. We got to sit side-by-side and get pedicures and continued to build our relationship. And of course get to be a part of the conversations from the nail ladies asking about her baby and delivery. And our birth mom answers the questions so graciously, as she explains our relationship. The nail lady asked of our relationship: “Are you friends or family?”

And I answered, “Both.”

It was amazing to get to see our birth mom be pampered and feel so good about herself. Then, we went to her ultrasound. It was at an imaging center. We walked in, and Josh immediately pointed out the sign to me. On the right side of the waiting room were people getting screenings for advanced breast cancer, and the left side of the waiting room was for expecting moms.

Boy, am I so thankful to be sitting on the left side! God just amazes me even in those little moments. I’ve never had an ultrasound for my baby (outside of our IVF ultrasounds) but I’ve had several when getting treated for breast cancer. Oh how much better this side is! THANK YOU JESUS!

We are having an issue with the pictures of our posts showing up in the emails you receive. If you are not seeing pictures, CLICK HERE to see the post with pictures of the pedicures and ultrasound.

Our finished toes after our pedicures!

Josh and I both got to go back for her ultrasound, and it was amazing. Every ultrasound may have been as detailed as this one was, but we were back there a long time, and the ultrasound tech was very thorough. We heard the heartbeat, saw 4-D pictures again, she checked her heart, stomach, kidneys, head, brain–everything and the baby looks completely healthy. Praise God.

This baby is going to be a chunk! All of our birth mom’s babies have been 7 pounds, but this little girl is going to be more than that if she hangs out any longer. She, right now is 6 pounds 15 ounces. When our ultrasound tech was conducting the ultrasound, she said, “Holy chunky!” She was surprised at how chubby her little face was. Her hair has grown, and there was lots of it!

I thought it looked like she was smiling here:)

This photo is a side picture of her “drinking.” Our tech said that she was drinking fluid the whole time. So neat.

After the ultrasound, we got in the car, and the birth mom said, “Please don’t be shy to say that you are the adoptive parents.” We explained to her that we want to be mindful of her feelings. And she proceeded to passionately tell us that we can introduce ourselves as that and not be scared to say that. She seriously is the best.

Then, we grabbed her lunch and brought her home, as she was exhausted:) And of course Josh overheard a conversation with her mom saying she wanted hamburger helper for dinner, so he had to stop and get her some—seriously He is the most giving person ever…

We dropped her off and plan on picking her up for her Monday doctor’s appointment where they will check her and we can get a better idea of when this baby will be here! Once again, that doctor’s appointment probably wouldn’t happen without us being here.

Yes, we are getting anxious for the baby to come. Yes, we are worried about things happening back home and not putting too much stress on others. Yes, we can kind of go stir-crazy, but we know we are to be here. For loving this birth mom. For loving and taking care of our baby. For building relationship and memories to tell our baby about as she grows…it really is beautiful.

In the mean time, we have had so many open their hearts and homes to us. We are beyond grateful after a few nights in a hotel.

For now, we are waiting until Monday for her next appointment. We are also supposed to have the meeting with our mental health counselor, our birth mom and her mom on Friday night. Please pray that happens.

Please pray God continues to give us perspective while we are away from home, continued rest, quality time spent with each other and for us to be continued vessels of God’s love to our birth mom and her family and friends.

I will continue to update as often as possible,

Aly