For Those Of You Dreading Mother’s Day…

Mother’s Day

Mother’s day is Sunday! I still can’t believe I am a mom. There are days it feels real, and then days I have to remind myself that it really is real!

But, I have to be honest, I don’t necessarily feel like I thought I would feel with Mother’s day coming up.

Yes, I am so blessed to be a mother, and I have dreamed about celebrating this day for years, but my heart hurts for so many.

Yes, now I  have my little one in my arms, but so many arms are left empty, yearning to fulfill such a longing in their hearts.

You see, that was me for several years. I was genuinely happy for others as I saw their families growing, but even being happy for and seeing others’ families grow puts a magnifying glass on your own family that’s not growing.

Yes, God gave me contentment with just the two of us, but on days like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, and Easter, and Christmas–any holidays for that matter–it was tough.

And church and Christians can be some of the hardest people to be around.

I talk about this in more detail in my book, How Cancer Made Me a Mommy, but sometimes the church can be the worst.

We always hear about children being a blessing from the Lord. Well, for a long time I wasn’t given those “blessings.” So, if children were a blessing, what was infertility?

Was I not blessed?

Was I not doing what God had commanded us to do? To be fruitful and multiply? Had I done something wrong? Would I not be a good mother? Was God shielding me from totally messing up a little one’s life?

Yes, when you aren’t able to fulfill a dream like motherhood, these thoughts and many other awful ones run through your mind.

So, yes I will celebrate Mother’s Day, but I will never forget those struggling.

Outside of infertility, there are those who have lost a mother, have had a painful relationship with a mother, a mother who has lost a child, or a grandchild—and this day is really, really hard for you.

I am just so terribly sorry for your pain.

I know you don’t really want to go to church on Sunday because of the attention given to mothers.

I know those struggling with infertility genuinely want to be happy for others as you go to baby shower after baby shower.

I know you desperately want to make your husband a dad, or your wife a mom.

God sees your tears.

He has a plan.

Your pain is not in vain.

Keeping seeking Him on how to grow your family. And in the meantime, enjoy this time with your spouse and grow together through this experience. God has a story and a use for your infertility struggles.

Looking at my sweet Genevieve’s face–infertility was worth it.

So, to all you dreading mother’s day, hang in there.

Know God sees you and He cares. Allow Him to wrap His arms around you on this Mother’s day.

Make it a special day and be honest with your struggles. If you keep pursuing parenthood and believe that is God’s plan for you, one day, somehow, you will have a precious little one.

I love you guys—

In Other News- Perfect checkup!

I had a perfect 6 month check up!!! Praise Jesus!!! We had a great weekend cheering on our Lady Crusaders in Sulpher, than an amazing trip in Houston with the Stanfills, got lots of things for our house, and a great visit with my oncologist.

I cannot tell you enough how thankful I am for your prayers.

Each visit and good check up is like another huge weight off of my back. I sometimes don’t realize it is there until after an appointment sometimes.

I am more than halfway through my “5 years”. I celebrated my 3 year cancerversary on April 30th. I have been cancer free for 3 years!!!!!

This day is better than any birthday, anniversary, holiday—because me being cancer-free means that I am able to celebrate all of those other days. Josh’s birthdays, Vievey’s special days, anniversaries—all of those are possible because I am cancer-free and alive to celebrate them.

Needless to say, my 3 year cancer-free anniversary and this good 6 month check up gives me a peace unexplainable.

The celebration that goes on inside of me after appointments like these, I cannot explain. I just love Jesus so much.

I love Him for who He is, but I also love Him for what He does. He just leaves me in awe.

Praising Him for this Mother’s Day and never forgetting what a painful day this can be for so many. Let’s choose to make it a special day, trusting God with everything unseen and yet to be fulfilled,
Aly