Please listen to this song while you read this post? Please – it’s my birthday.
Click Here To Open ‘Touch the Sky by Hillsong’
My dreams were not this good.
I mean it.
I was able to celebrate a birthday as a DAD!
I am grateful for my life. Literally.
As I write this I am coping with the reality of a childhood friend that is fighting for life.
There are so many things that Aly and I were shielded from in our fight. We had some incredibly dark days but at the end of our tunnel, we have found ourselves undeservedly blessed.
Some of our worst fears can be read in others’ stories. We say all of the time that had we known what was going to happen on Oct 17, 2011, we may have just signed out.
We just started asking for the ability to deal with today. Today was enough.
We ended up stacking a bunch of ‘todays’ together, and here we are.
That is not everyone’s story though.
Some people lose the option of stacking todays.
You guys – there is NEVER ‘enough’ time.
So many people around us are hurting at levels I can’t imagine.
The week after Aly was diagnosed, I sat in a Chick Fil A and told my brother I didn’t know what was going to happen in regards to Aly’s life. My life. Our life.
Oh God, thank you for choosing to save Aly’s life. We didn’t deserve it, but thank you.
This place where we have gathered with all of you for the past 4 years is so sacred to us.
God has worked so heavily on us and through you, our readers.
It all started with a 26 year old husband that didn’t know what to do. I had no plan. No vision for how to be the husband he would need to be.
All that time I was right where God wanted me. —Needing him.
It took me longer than it should have to be broken by the love and grace of an incredible God but this place, Alysfight, is where so much of God’s work was fleshed out in writing to you guys.
I couldn’t have known then when I started this blog to keep everyone up to date on Aly’s treatment that it would be a place for us to share our prayer requests, our dark moments, our overjoyed moments, and just life in general… and now sharing our “new normal” as parents.
I asked you to listen to this song ‘Touch the Sky’ because of some incredible lyrics –
What treasure waits within Your scars
This gift of freedom gold can’t buy
I bought the world and sold my heart
You traded heaven to have me again
My heart beating, my soul breathing
I found my life when I laid it down
If you can listen to this and not be broken by the depth of God’s love for us, then please keep listening.
Aly and I made some serious commitments coming out of her treatment that first year. Here they are:
I as much as anyone can struggle to hold tight to the idea of not rejoining the rat race. It’s our culture, and we are seen as “hard workers” and “supermen” or “superwoman” when we give into it.
I am asking God as I begin the 32nd year of my life to continue to reveal himself to me.
I am specifically asking him to reveal himself in these areas of my life:
I desire to make an impact while I am here.
I will first do that spiritually.
I will 2nd do that as a husband.
I will 3rd to that as a dad.
As a brother.
As a friend.
As a mentor.
You see, if my life was going to end soon I wouldn’t care at all about money. Yet daily I can struggle to allow my work and worth to be tied to things my heart and soul doesn’t crave.
In my 32nd year, I give you the people who have shown such love and care for us to speak into my life.
I need mentors. I need friends. You need mentors. You need friends. WE NEED EACH OTHER!
Doing this thing we call life alone is not going to work.
Please keep loving us, and know that we value you to a level that we can’t describe.
The reason we continue to cultivate this area of our life at Alysfight is because we believe our lives and the lives of others are being changed by the Holy Spirit.
If it weren’t for that, this would come to an end.
I love you guys, and I love the opportunity to get to share with you every now and then.
Ask God to break your heart for what breaks His.
It was the happiest of birthdays to me,
Josh