What It Means 5 Years from Diagnosis: I GRADUATED!!!

For those of you who follow our Facebook page, you know I recently had my 5 year check-up at MD Anderson. After I was deemed cancer free, I had to go to MD Anderson every 3 months for 2 years. Then once I reached 2 years, I had to go to MD Anderson every 6 months for a check up until I reached my 5 year mark.

Well, HERE WE ARE!!! We just had that 5 year check up, and I am just in awe. I am in awe that we are here and that our God continues to prove himself faithful and trustworthy again and again.

For anyone that is familiar with cancer, you know that hitting the 5 year mark is huge in the cancer world. Most cancers, if they recur, are most likely to recur in the first 5 years. So, when survivors reach that 5 year mark, it is a huge milestone and many feel like a huge weight is taken off of their shoulders knowing that the “5 year date” is behind them.

I remember when I was first diagnosed and Josh immediately got me connected to a friend whose wife was a recent breast cancer survivor. She explained to me that she was a few years from her diagnosis and that she just couldn’t wait until she got to the 5 year mark. She said that she felt like she was holding her breath until she could get there.

I then talked to another lady who was months away from her 5 year mark, and she just expressed how she was going to have the biggest celebration when she hit the 5 year mark.

I then talked to another survivor who was 15 years from her diagnosis and she said one of the happiest days of her life was when she reached the 5 year mark.

So, obviously you see the theme here. I was quickly learning that 5 years is a big milestone in the cancer world. And at that point, I had yet to learn of my type or stage of cancer, but regardless I knew 5 years was a big deal, and definitely something worth celebrating.

Then, I got to MD Anderson and learned of my stage and type of cancer. I was diagnosed with Stage 3, Triple Negative Breast Cancer. We tried to avoid statistics if at all possible, but what we did learn was that my type and stage of cancer was extremely aggressive. We learned that my initial tumor had spread to lymph nodes in my arm. We were devastated and weren’t quite sure what all of this meant. But pretty quickly, we learned that year 5 was a huge milestone, like all of the other ladies had told me.

With my particular type of cancer, year 2 was another huge year. Most recurrences for my type of cancer happened during the first 2 years from diagnosis, and then after those years passed, there was still a likelihood of recurrence in the first 5 years. Yes, it’s terrifying. Yes, it’s depressing. But, I just could not let my mind camp out there.

If you have been following my story, you know that I am very deadline oriented, so having timelines helped me a ton during treatment and even now. We counted down my chemo treatments, mastectomy surgery, my 30 radiation treatments, my reconstructive surgeries, time we could start attempting pregnancy— those first 2 years—-looking to those deadlines helped me immensely. It was as if I could keep my eye on the prize.

But the main prize, the main deadline in my head was always: 5 YEARS. 5 YEARS. 5 YEARS.

I remember telling multiple people after my cancer treatment that if I could just be given a sleeping pill and sleep until October 17, 2016, I would do it. I knew I would miss out on years of life and probably many wonderful memories, but living through those years until year 5 could be brutal. And at times, I just didn’t want to do it. Certain seasons between that 2 year and 5 year mark were just horrible. I could not have gotten through it without my comforter and hand holder, Jesus Christ.

My 5 year appointment was scheduled for Halloween, but then it got changed because my doctor was going to be out of town, and get this– My appointment was changed to  October 17, 2016. Exactly 5 YEARS from my original diagnosis. That was not on purpose. But I just think that is so like God to do— It was the same day of the week as my diagnosis as well…so many similarities that I won’t even go into. But God timed all of this perfectly and wanted to make it as poignant as it really was.

Josh and I went down for this appointment together, and our moms along with amazing friends (BeBee and Lindsay) kept our babies for us. We were able to get some good sleep (Thank you Lord!), and really reflect on what these last 5 years have been like.

We cried a lot and slept a lot. I cried a lot leading up to the appointment. Sometimes I think Josh doesn’t know what to do with me. Poor guy. Ultimately, he always comes back to saying that he just believes that I am healed and doesn’t have anxiety leading up to appointments because he simply believes I am healed. But he has gotten better at understanding my emotions as we lead up to an appointment or test.

Here’s the thing, I really do believe I am healed like he does. I really do too. But I am human. And this was it. THE 5 year appointment. So I had to give myself grace and know that anxiety related to this appointment was completely normal and that didn’t mean I didn’t have faith everything would be well.

As my oncologist came in to the appointment she was almost in tears as she went over the significance of this appointment. Wow- have we walked a journey together with her!!!

She examined me, asked a plethora of questions, and then officially said that I “graduated” to the survivorship section of the hospital. SURVIVORSHIP!!!

I would no longer see her. She kept reiterating that it was a GOOD thing to not see her anymore.

Gosh, we will miss her! But, actually not really at all. She sees cancer patients, and praise God, that is NOT me anymore. And will never be me again, in Jesus’ name.

Yes, I have graduated from college three times, but this graduation cannot even begin to compare to those.

To hug her, and then to hug Josh after hearing this news. That I graduated. That I passed the 5 year mark… it just brings me to praise. It literally drops me to my knees. Our God is so incredibly mighty.

There are many days I wish he wouldn’t have used me and my family to show His glory in the way that he has ( I know that is completely selfish), but I am just blown away by Him and utterly thankful, as I have had a literal front seat to His miraculous power.

I have passed the 5 year mark. Now, the medical world recognizes what we already knew God did. Healed completely. Completely whole. Entirely well.

I’ve graduated,

Aly