What Cancer Has To Do With Christmas

I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas with their families! Ours was nothing short of magical, and not because of the lights, presents, fun with families etc…,but because of entirely different reasons.

I do remember those who Christmas is hard for…such a joyous holiday that can be filled with pain and loss depending on what your current situation looks like. If that was you this Christmas, I truly am so sorry. I have had Christmases like that, even though I know all of our situations are different. I am so deeply sorry if Christmas is a hard holiday for you.

For us, this Christmas, we were in a place of reaping. Regardless of what is going on in our life, we have determined and committed that we will bless the Lord. This Christmas, it was full of joy. Not because our current situation is perfect or that our life has no problems, but because we can literally see so many tangible blessings of the Lord this year.

The week before Christmas, we celebrated Christmas with Josh’s side of the family- his parents, his brother and his wife, my niece and nephew and my girls. Wow, we had a blast. We are so blessed to have the amazing families that we do. This was the first time for Genevieve to open gifts and really be excited about them! To see the joy on her face..it really is true—you think experiencing Christmas as a kid is the best thing ever. Then you have kids, and realize that watching them experience Christmas is really the best thing.

On Christmas Eve, we went to celebrate Christmas with my dad’s side of the family. The babies did awesome, and Genevieve had a blast with cousins over there…

Then Christmas morning came, and it was amazing. We have a tradition of moving our mattress into the living room on Christmas Eve and sleeping in the living room. That is always something we look forward to…we had matching PJs for the whole family. It was so fun to get everyone up and see them in their sweet PJs. Even Josh joined us—he is such a trooper with all things girly and matching! He better get used to it—he will have a lifetime of it:) He is the BEST girl daddy.

We all opened gifts from each other. We read the Christmas story. We told Genevieve yet again what Christmas is all about. We prayed together. We watched each other open gifts— I got some of the sweetest gifts from Josh that I’ll share later…We laughed. We smiled. We hugged. We loved.

We spent time together at our house, then headed to my moms for a full day of an amazing day with people I love so much! What a great day!

You see, when I was diagnosed with cancer and was unsure how many more Christmases I would experience, these were the moments I dreaded missing.

Yes, I knew I would be in heaven if I didn’t live. Yes, I knew everyone would be okay without me. But the human side of me did not want to miss this! I know that I wouldn’t yearn for these days when I was gone, but still being on earth and fighting cancer–these are the moments I yearned for and didn’t want to miss.

Cancer has made me so sappy.

Cancer has made me say and do things I never would have done before it, for the possibility of looking too serious or too  sentimental- someone laughing at me or talking about me like all I do is talk about cancer.

Cancer has made me cry- A LOT.

Cancer has made me enjoy life so much more.

Cancer has made me value friendships and relationships like none other.

Cancer has made me treasure every day—even the ones where I am exhausted–where I don’t feel good. When someone hurts my feelings, when I am sick, when I am struggling in any way— I would rather be here and not having the greatest of days then not be here at all.

So, yes, Christmas is incredibly special having these sweet miracle faces to gaze into.

Christmas is insanely good with my best friend and husband to enjoy this life with.

Christmas is amazing to be able to celebrate with family and friends.

But Christmas—knowing that when I was faced with potential death—knowing that Christmas was something I would miss the most—it just makes me savor the moments like never before.

I just hugged Josh for about 5 minutes straight (no exaggeration) on Christmas morning. He hears my heart more than anyone else of the fears I dealt with and still deal with from time to time having experienced cancer.

I just told him what I shared with all of you—that these were the moments I was so scared and sad I would miss. And to be experiencing them—grateful doesn’t even describe it.

I got on my knees Christmas morning in thankfulness and adoration of a God who has spared my life and is so graciously letting me experience these moments.

I am so grateful that my Christmas experience is forever changed.

So, I am sorry if I am too sentimental.

Too serious.

Too vulnerable.

Too sappy.

Too over the top.

I am just telling you— I am done with letting things go unsaid–not letting people know how I feel about them—how grateful I am to be alive. I am done with not expressing that.

So, yes, Cancer changed my life forever—how I view everything—what I say, what I do, how I view life—

And having experienced cancer makes every Christmas that much more special. And knowing the little baby we are celebrating being born—that baby grew and became a man.

That man came and lived a perfect life and example for me. And for you.

That baby became a man and died for you and and for me.

He took our sin and shame, our diseases, our illnesses—all upon him so we can live live in abundance and freedom.

That little baby, who became a man, who is also my father, my healer, my friend—allows me to celebrate this incredible holiday.

Thank you Lord for your healing power and your active presence in my life. I will NEVER stop telling your story. Even if I am over the top at times. YOU are over the top! You seriously blow me away at your goodness in our lives.

Merry Belated Christmas, dear friends!

Aly