Growing Our Family: I’m Not Going to War Without Advice!

I Need Help!

When we felt God leading us to adoption, we were clueless. How does it work? Are we going to adopt internationally or domestically? Do we go through an agency? An attorney? Do we just pray for someone to come to us that is not ready to be a mother?

Needless to say, we had lots of questions and were unsure about much if not all of it. It was SO overwhelming! As I mentioned in an earlier post, God has always put a heart for adoption in us, but we were just unsure of the timing.

Continued Victory

“For by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.” Proverbs 24:6

This verse above in Proverbs talks about victory. We have experienced God’s victory in so many areas of our life- victory over cancer, paralyzing fear, spiritual and emotional healing of my husband, but we don’t stop there. We want victory in every area of our life- including our growing family with this adoption process!

It has almost been 6 months since we learned I wasn’t pregnant and since that happened, I have continually heard God telling me to not rush into anything. When you have wanted a family for so long, it is really easy to make a hasty decision to just grow our family- whether that be IVF again, a quick adoption agency application- or whatever. But I have tried to move slowly…And we are feeling peace to apply to an agency/attorney in January.

Another thing I have continued to heed God’s advice on is to get advice! Over the past several months, I have attempted to contact as many people as possible who have gone through a domestic adoption. Wow- have I gleaned so much from their advice!

They have prayed for me, cried with me, answered a million and one questions from me, given me connections and shared their amazing experience of growing their own families.

Adoption is a hard road. And the most rewarding at that. To understand what we are doing- what this means for our future baby and for us- it has connected me to God’s heart like nothing ever before. How he CHOSE us and ADOPTED us as his own…wow, I get teared up just writing that down.

And if I already feel that way without having our miracle baby in our arms– I literally CANNOT imagine how we will see God in every step of this adoption process.

In Counselors There is Safety

But asking for all this advice and seeking others experiences, opinions, and emotional and physical wisdom- it has made me ponder, why don’t I do this in other areas of my life?

Sure, I do it in some. But often times I make decisions on my own. I am pretty independent. And I even pray about it. God’s opinion is most important, right?

Yes, that is right. But if I believe that, then I have to do what he says on getting advice from others before making crucial decisions.

These are the questions I’ve been contemplating:

Why don’t I seek always seek advice before I make a crucial decision?

Before I bring up something difficult to Josh? Or to a family member?

Before I take a job? Or don’t take a job?

Why don’t I always seek advice on how to handle a tense situation?

The funny thing is, we DO ask advice on so many things in life.

Typically it’s the smaller things—From clothes, to colleges, to baby items– I see it on social media all the time. “Moms, what are the good car seats?” And, I’m sure I will be asking questions like these very soon:)

And the even more ironic, funnier thing is that I give advice all day, every day for a living. And oh how I respect those who seek advice. What that says about their character and obeying God! May I do the same.

“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” Proverbs 11:14

But I have gleaned so much emotional support and advice from these amazing families. How much better equipped I am for this journey having sat down for lunch, or coffee, or hour long phone calls!

I Want You to Experience What I Have

I encourage you to seek advice for whatever it is you are going through. Maybe it’s a parenting issue. Or a friend issue. Or something at work. Or taking a job. Going back to school. Something in your marriage. Advice on a relationship— the list is endless.

We all need advice in one way or another. We just have to be vulnerable enough to share what it is we need help with.

Whether it be a counselor.

Or a trusted friend.

Or a parent.

Or your spouse.

DO IT! My future children will be grateful for me taking so much time seeking advice about adoption.

And I can guarantee you and yours will be better because of it.

AND, when you do it, you are obeying God’s word- that is enough reason in and of itself!

Love you guys,

Aly