Dear Lydia, You’re Two Months Old

Dear Lydia,

I cannot believe you are two months old! You are our caboose, or at least we think! We think you are our last baby, but we have learned that when we make our plans, God laughs:) Oh, we are so glad God gave us you!

When we learned that you were going to be born, we were floored! It didn’t take any thought of if we wanted you—it was just as if everything inside daddy and me said, “YES!” And then when we learned that you would be born close to Vera, we were thrilled, and scared!

I never thought I would have twins, but because of you, I do! And oh what a joy you have been!

When we thought you weren’t going to be ours—that was one of the darkest days of Daddy and my life. Having to say goodbye to you. I still can’t even talk about it- it’s so fresh. I’ve never seen Daddy cry that hard.

From the moment we knew you existed, you were ours in our mind. You were a Taylor. Even though we knew there was a chance we wouldn’t have you, we just prayed for God’s perfect will for your life.

I cannot express thankful and unworthy we felt that it was God’s will for you to be ours! You are the sweetest baby!

When you were in the hospital, everyone was admiring you, saying you looked like a baby doll, and people still say that- you are beautiful!

You weren’t eating well in the hospital. The minute we learned you would be ours, you immediately sucked down your bottle. The lady with us said that you were finally at peace and could leave the hospital:)I know that is reaching and wishful thinking on my part, but this momma was taking any encouragement that she could get! Our emotions had been through a roller coaster.

You seriously did not cry at all in the hospital (unlike your twin sister). When we took you home, I kept wondering if you cried!

And you do, I am quickly learning:)

When you cry, you hurt my feelings so much. You cry REAL tears! I hate to see you cry. Absolutely hate it.

You have the sweetest dimple in your right cheek and on the right side of your chin.

You act like you hate your paci then you suck it like it is going to fly away!

You are SO alert.

You have the biggest, most beautiful eyes!

You are still so tiny, even though you are growing. I think God wants you to stay like a baby as long as you can, as we think you are our last:)

You, my love, are a miracle. You were always loved and will always be loved fiercely. Your birth mother loved you so much that she gave you to us. She loved you so much that she chose life! She loved you so much that she put your needs before hers. What a true act of love. She is our hero.

Oh how much we love your birth mom. And oh how much we love you! We are the most blessed parents on the face of the earth!

I love learning you. Knowing Jesus is incredible. Knowing your daddy is amazing. Learning you and your sisters is just insanely good.

Learning who you are beyond all of the day to day tasks is just and honor and a privilege. I am typing through tears right now. I can’t wait to get to know your heart and all of the intricacies that the Lord has placed inside of you.

I love you Lydia Joyce, mighty woman of God.

I need you to grow- to put on weight, but please always be my baby. Always.

I love you forever,

Mommy