This week and next week are a big week for me. I am Dancing in “Dancing with the Louisiana Stars” on February 2nd and also cutting my hair off!
Several months ago, I was asked to dance in this competition which takes local “celebrities” and pairs them with dancers to perform and compete to raise money for the Louisiana Delta Ballet. When I was first asked, I literally felt sick to my stomach.
I knew it was an honor to be asked, but to be in front of tons of people doing this?!?
I am not the most coordinated person:). I am definition: “white girl dancer!”
How much would we have to practice?
Am I going to completely embarrass myself?
These were just some of the thoughts and questions going through my head when I was asked. I asked the sweet girl and friend who called to officially ask me if I could think about it for a few days.
I talked with Josh about it and was curious what he thought.
He didn’t even hesitate, and just said, “Oh my goodness- you have to!”
I talked with my friends and mom who echoed that.
I talked with my sister who was so excited (and sees me through rose colored glasses), and she really encouraged me to do it.
So, after a few days of mulling it over in my mind, I reluctantly said “Yes.”
I hadn’t heard anything else about it for a several months, so I honestly thought someone took my place or they didn’t need me to be in it. All to find out just a couple weeks ago that we were starting practice- pronto!
Oh my word- this is really happening. And here are the words that frequently come to my mind even now when thinking about this:
WHAT AM I DOING?!?
I will explain why below, but before I do that, let’s address me cutting my hair off and how it relates.
I have been in a hair rut.
My hair is long.
I mostly wear it in a messy bun.
Two days ago, Genevieve literally used my hair to blow her nose. No, I’m not kidding.
I like it long, but am ready for a change.
One day as I was thinking of what to do, I felt something inside of me tell me to chop it off.
I remember thinking, NO WAY!
After I lost my hair, I swore to myself I would never, EVER cut my hair ever again!
I remember those months and months of no hair and just thinking, “I will never complain of a bad hair day again- Hair is such a gift- My head is so cold!”
When I go get it cut or hi lighted, I am always sure to make sure and tell her to take off only the dead ends and how sensitive I am to cutting it.
The last time I had to cut my hair a significant amount was when lots of my hair started falling out in the middle of my chemotherapy, and we needed to cut it to not make it look so thin.
It was awful. My stylist was amazing and tried to take my attention away from the clumps of hair she was throwing away, but I remember sitting in that chair thinking, “I will never cut my hair again. When it grows back out, I’ll never cut it. I don’t care if its down to my butt, I’m never cutting it. I will never take my hair for granted again.”
Soooo, then let me take you back to a couple of months ago when I felt like I needed to cut it (yes, who am I?!?!).
I felt led to look into places to donate to if I were to cut it off.
I really felt the Lord telling me to do this. I was blessed with a wig of real human hair that I was able to feel somewhat normal in when I lost all of my hair, and now I would have the chance to do this for someone else.
I told the Lord I would do it, hesitantly. Very hesitantly.
I made the appointment.
I texted my dear friend and hair stylist this past week and warned her that when she cuts it, there will probably be tears and why.
But the Lord has spoken to my heart and reminded me: it’s just hair.
I am cutting it- I am not being forced to cut it.
I am not losing my hair.
I am donating it.
I am doing something fun with it.
Enjoy it. Embrace it.
(Can you tell I have been doing lots of self-talk? :))
But just like doing “Louisiana Dancing with the Stars”, I find myself thinking: WHAT AM I DOING?!?
So, what do dancing and cutting my hair have to do with each other?
Well, they are both happening within a week of each other (not planned)- when I made my hair appointment, I completely forgot about DWTS, but now I do see the significance of the timing.
They both are things I have said yes to when at first I really didn’t want to.
Practicing for this competition has been so much fun!
I left my sister a voicemail last week almost in tears thanking her for pushing me to dance in this.
I may not have the best coordination, but I am healthy, and have the ability to dance.
I have the ability to have fun.
I have the ability to cut my hair, and I am not being forced to or am I losing it.
So I know these things seem rather trivial in the big things of life, but they have taught me so much.
Even in the little things, I want to be better at pushing myself out of my comfort zone.
I want to listen to that still small voice more often even when my flesh wants to say “Heck-to-the-no!”
I have a very “safe” personality, and I want to get better about not being so hesitant to do things. I want to just go for it!
I am alive.
You, yes you, if you are reading this, you are alive!
Let’s be thankful to experience all the incredible things life has to offer.
For me, it’s even dancing and cutting off my hair.
What are some things you are doing or could do to push yourself to enjoy life more? Please share with me!
The picture on this post was right after my first hair cut when I started chemo.
My hair appointment is this Thursday and the competition is next Friday! – please pray for me:0
Love you guys,