Answering Questions We Have Gotten About Our Heart Twins

Having Vera and Lydia these last 3 months has been nothing short of amazing (and exhausting). We get questions asked all the time, as I am sure many moms of multiples do. I wanted to answer many of the questions we get, and of course I will take any chance I can to brag on my girls.

1.) What do you say when people ask if Vera and Lydia are twins?

We typically just answer with a simple “yes.” If they go into asking if they are identical or fraternal, ask more questions about their births, or ask about me carrying twins, I of course correct them, and explain my pregnancy and adoption. We just typically answer “yes” to the twin question, because we are raising them as twins, and honestly, do people really want to hear the WHOLE story?! You should see the look on their faces when we do have to tell them. You can tell they are thinking, “Wow, I was not trying to get all up in your business!” But we don’t want to lie, but answering that they are twins is typical for us.

2.) How are the girls sleeping?

My girls are amazing sleepers! If you know me, you know I love my sleep and do not function well without it. So, when we found out we were having two, I got many funny comments from close friends and family members about my sleep being taken away. Yes, those first two months were ROUGH! But, all in all, the girls have slept great. They are both sleeping through the night, (Praise God!) and I am starting to feel a little more like a normal person (Even though I am writing this at 1:21 pm in my pajamas).

3.) Do the girls sleep in the same crib?

They do not. As sweet as that idea sounded and I considered it, I wanted them to have their own sleep space. They at this point are used to each other’s cries and won’t wake up if the other one does, but having them in the same crib with all of the moving and kicking they do—I just didn’t even want to try it. However, I do put them in the same crib when they are awake to play and talk to each other.

4.) What are their personalities like?

It is hard to tell what their personalities are like because Genevieve’s personality has changed so much over her first year, but I will tell you what we are thinking as of now. Vera is our talker. She smiles from the time she wakes up until the time she goes to sleep. She loves to be held and wants you looking at her. Lydia is much more quiet. Her talking is much softer, whereas Vera squeals, and you can hear her in another room. Vera reminds us a lot of Genevieve at this age. When Lydia looks at you, it looks like she is captivated by you. I love how she stares at you. She is smiling a lot now too. Josh says he thinks Lydia is going to be the “schemer” and Vera will be the one to carry out the scheme:) They both are super content and “easy babies” thus far. I am scared to even write that, as I don’t want to jinx myself!

5.) Do you keep your girls on a schedule?

YES!!! As soon as we found out we were having two, my main piece of advice I got was “Keep the babies on a schedule.” Other twin moms explained to me that was the only way they survived, and that their babies thrived on a schedule. Thankfully, I am very scheduled anyway, and we kept a pretty strict schedule with Genevieve. We follow a book called “Preparation for Parenting.” It is very similar to “Babywise.” It has been a life saver for us with Genevieve, and the babies are proving to follow suit.

6.) What has been the most difficult part of having twins?

For me, it is not having the one-on-one time like I did with Genevieve. And I know that if we would have had just one baby I still would struggle with some of that because I have Genevieve now and I can’t give all of my attention to the babies. But having the two—I can’t hold them all at the same time. Therefore, many times one is crying, and that has been extremely difficult. Often times I would cry to Josh explaining that I felt like I was just doing all of the tasks all day but not having the time to talk to and love on the babies. That has gotten a lot better though. I have learned how to manage my time better. I used to think I wanted the babies and Genevieve to nap at the same time for both of G’s naps. Now I have learned to keep them up during some of her naps to get one on one time with them, and then I am able to give Genevieve quality time when the babies are down for their multiple naps. I am still learning, and by no means have it mastered, but I want to be so intentional about treating each baby like an only child as much as possible. Just in these early months, it can be difficult.

7.) What has been the most rewarding part of having twins?

It is just double everything. Double the joy. Double the love. Double the laughs. They just fit. I think having a child by birth and one by adoption so close in age has given me, yet again, a new perspective and a love that just overflows. I just look in their faces, and I see Jesus. And I am not meaning to over-spiritualize it—they just are such representation of our God. To be able to look at your kids and be reminded of Jesus—what’s better than that? Seeing them love being together makes my heart overflow. To see Genevieve in the morning—to wake her up and turn off the light, close the door, drop her pacifier (we have our routine), then walk in the living room to see “her babies”.–nothing better.  She has to wave and tell both of them good morning. It just is so amazing to watch as a mom. I am just incredibly grateful to God for the way He has so uniquely and beautifully knit our family together.

I will answer more questions as they come, but these are main ones we get asked often, so I figured I would just address them on the blog.

I love being a twin mom!

Aly